Beloved Brother
by Fenikkusu Ai
Summary: Syrus has been fighting off his brother's advances for years. Depressed and increasingly isolated, Syrus seeks help from the one person who will listen...Aster. Yaoi. Mentions of rape and incest.
1. Welcome To My Life

Disclaimer: I do not own YGO GX nor any of the characters used. Yay.

* * *

Syrus had never asked for this. He had never asked for any of it.

Others would be jealous—the less balanced people. Most would be horrified. However, the vast majority would be totally suspended in a state of disbelief. Perhaps they would call him a liar. Perhaps that was why he simply kept his mouth shut. It wasn't easy when your elder brother took an…interest in you to put it delicately.

No matter how many times Syrus searched for reason in this situation, he always came up short. Had he somehow invited his honored brother's intentions? No. He had just been an innocent twelve-year old boy that had just happened to attract his fifteen-year old sibling's eye. Through no fault of his own.

Four years later, his brother's interest still had not fled. Oh, it wasn't as if there was a shortage of partners. It just appeared that Zane was unwilling or unable to give up his original claim.

Though "it" didn't happen often as it originally had, it wasn't as if this was some sort of consolation prize.

Moodily, Syrus glared out the window. A smattering of students lounged here and there on the grass. He could join them, but he knew he could not for he was a virtual prisoner in this empty dorm room. Waiting.

Syrus knew he should be used to it now. Everybody had a dark secret, right? He should make the best of it, right? In fact, a few would say he was lucky to have been chosen by his own brother of all people when a great many of the population wouldn't give him the time of day. Also, another bonus, it didn't hurt as much anymore physically. Just emotionally. And mentally.

All the same, tears blurred his vision, as he watched his classmates participate in normal, carefree activities while he waited for the unthinkable to walk through the door. Syrus knew he had to stay. He had considered running before, but one sharp glance from those stone-cold eyes as he had contemplated this bold move a year or so ago had stopped him in his tracks.

And, his brother was gentle. Why, he had only been hit less than ten times all through his ordeals. Most of the time, his elder brother was tender with his barely pubescent form. Loving even.

Still, if this was love, why did he always feel so depressed? Who else did he have to confide in except his own broken self? Syrus knew the option to broach the subject with his two best friends in class was always open, but who was he to unload his misery on them? They were out having fun—having experiences every teenager could have. With their newer friends. Or, new friends altogether. The European boy Jesse Andersen occupied every spare minute of his supposed _best_ friend's time and even Tyranno was seen spotted fishing with his unofficial rival, Jim Cook. Jaden and Tyranno had gone their own separate ways, and Syrus was obligated to follow. But, where would he go? To which group could he mosey into? Axel Brody was unfriendly to say the least, and Adrian Gecko mostly kept to himself. Alexis had her own friends and so did Chazz. All Syrus had was Jaden.

Not to mention his brother.

For something to do, Syrus glanced down at his rather expensive wristwatch his brother had gotten especially for him. 5:43. He had said to meet here at 5:45. Not something easy like 5:30 or 5:00 but quarter to six. He guessed that his brother's schedule was different now and that the famed Dark Zane could only squeeze him in for a fifteen-minute liaison. How much like crap that made Syrus feel. How like an object.

For one split second, he actually did consider running for the door. But he had had waited too long. His brother could arrive at any minute. That's what Syrus' life had been reduced to—minutes and seconds. And weeks. The five or six week-long intervals when he was left untouched was heaven and hell began whenever his cell phone rang and he heard his brother's slow, smoky voice on the other end. Syrus couldn't handle it anymore.

"I wish…" he began in a trembling voice before he realized stupidly that no one would hear his cries. Not some supreme deity. No mystical genie. Only he would hear himself wish. What did he even wish for?

A sound in the hall. In desperation, Syrus squeezed the windowsill…debating if he should just jump out of the window itself.

_Right on time._

Syrus didn't even turn around as he heard the knob turn and the door slowly swing open. However, he did not wish to appear defiant and make it worse on himself. Fighting the urge to sob, he turned around in a leisurely circle in the effort to calm himself as much as possible. Zane didn't like it when he cried.

"Syrus." Those pale lips pulled into a smirk as his jade-infused eyes flashed. Lazily, he leaned against the doorframe; his intentions very clearly visible under his tight leather clothing.

"Brother." Though Syrus spoke, the voice that left his lips didn't quite sound like his own.

Without further formality, Syrus shut off his brain and forced himself to strip.

* * *

Author's Note: I'm going back to what I do best—multichaptered hurt/comfort fics. Sometimes, it's best to stop doing things for the shock value and stick to what you know best—raw emotion. This fic will contain mentions of yaoi and, yes, ultimately the R word. Between brothers. If I get flamed, I get flamed. I'd understand. But, the story interested me. (At least enough to write over six chapters.) 


	2. The Aftermath

_Objective 1: Grab shampoo bottle._

Syrus wrapped his fingers around the blue plastic container.

_Objective 2: Open the bottle._

Mechanically, Syrus did so.

_Objective 3: Squirt into palm._

The aroma of vanilla reached his nostrils.

_Objective 4: Work into lather in wet hair._

Numbly moving his fingers through his silver blue hair; Syrus heaved a great sigh.

_Objective 5: Try not to lose mind in process._

Syrus' brain worked haltingly. Anything more would be overload. Just like every damned time it happened.

Trembling from the invasive cold that hovered around the border between him and the steaming water; Syrus steeled himself to finish rinsing his soapy locks. Still, as soon as he turned the knob that shut off the showerhead flow; the tears he had locked inside himself came out in huge wracking sobs.

_It happened again, and I couldn't stop it. I'm weak. That's what I am._

And, it had been nearly over two months this time too. Syrus had been hoping against hope that Zane had in fact moved _on_. A fool. He had been a fool as usual.

_I can't take this anymore. Not one more time…_

Once more, that feeling seized him again. Mindlessly watching the remaining water swirl down the metal drain and desperately hoping he could disappear with it; Syrus entertained the unthinkable.

_Why don't I tell someone the truth?_

Right now, everyone he knew was most likely grazing on fried shrimp and noodles. How easy it would be to intrude upon this often customary late-night snack and simply break down into a puddle of tears in front of their bewildered eyes.

_But how can I be so selfish? I'd ruin their lives. Mine too. It's for the best if they don't know. _

If only there was a neutral third party that would listen, keep his secret, and give him some furtive advice. Then, maybe Syrus would feel better somewhat.

Grappling for a towel, Syrus wasted no time in swathing it around his now overexposed waist and hips. Though he had cleaned himself thoroughly, he still felt Zane's touch all over him. No, there were some things that scented soap couldn't remove.

Sniffling a bit, Syrus walked over towards the mirror—intentionally avoiding his reflection—and picked up the comb.

_Wash your hair. Wash it clean. Untangle it now. Make it smell pretty for him…_

Ignoring his morbid thoughts, once dry, Syrus dressed himself. Wiping his silver eyes a final time, he attempted to exit the bathroom unnoticed.

It was not to be.

"Sy?"

No sooner than he had stepped into the hall there was an obstruction in his path. A ceramic plate that bore a single sandwich had been thrust at him. When Syrus' gaze settled on the giver, he cringed inwardly. The one person he didn't want to see.

"J-j-aden?"

"Here, Sy. I thought you'd be hungry. You missed dinner, you know." Those brown eyes shone in earnest.

"Yeah. I was…catching up on homework!" This last part came out like a squeak. It was so obviously a lie.

_Yep. It was homework, Syrus. Memorizing your brother's…_

"Well, then, I brought dinner to you. Do you want to join us in the cafeteria, buddy?"

Syrus shivered. Noticeably.

Jaden was immediately on alert. "Hey…are you all right?

"Sure. I'm just cold from the shower." Syrus made considerable strides to lighten his tone so that he would sound believable. It wasn't working as well as he had hoped.

"Then, you'll warm up in the cafeteria." Jaden was all but ready to forcibly seize his hand.

"Actually, Jay, I was thinking of going to bed early. I don't feel all that well." Syrus was desperately hoping Jaden would catch the hint.

"Oh. Is it that flu going around?"

"Yeah…probably. I just want to rest."

_I just want to _die

Jaden seemed disappointed. "That's okay. Another time then."

A wave of anguish swept over Syrus, yet he managed to bottle it in time.

_Jaden, it's not your fault. It's mine…_

"Here." The plate was again launched at him. "You need your strength. You can eat it in the dorm. I'll be there in a bit, all right?"  
"Thanks, Jaden."

As Syrus' timorous gaze held Jaden's steady one, he very nearly spilled his guts right there on the floor. But, Jaden was so kind. So concerned. He didn't need to hear…that.

_Besides, what if he thinks I'm bad? Corrupted? My best friend. My only friend. And, what would Zane do? Jaden can't keep a secret._

Without further conversation, Syrus went on his not-so-merry way back to the dorm. Usually, he tried his best to avoid his friends, acquaintances, teachers, and even his enemies after an encounter with his brother. He just felt dirty. Used. As if everyone could see what he had been doing.

On this occasion, he hadn't been so lucky in remaining secret.

Slowly, he shuffled into his bedroom and resignedly closed the door before promptly bursting into tears.

* * *

Author's Note: Thanks to all reviewers. I can only guess at the number of chapters I'll write here. Still, I think it's going to be a lot. 


	3. The First Time

He dreamed then. In his slumber, he encountered the very shadow of the man who tormented him.

"_Brother?" Nervousness unsettled his tone. _

"_Shhh…"_

_Before he realized it, Syrus was rapidly becoming unclothed. Panicking, he reached for something solid which only turned out to be his own attacker's shoulders._

"_Zane?"_

"_Shhh."_

_Syrus_ _breath exuded in ragged pants as his body was manipulated in an unnatural way. Too shocked to believe his eyes when the creaminess of Zane's navel was revealed; Syrus squeezed his eyes shut. He didn't want to see what was precisely located beneath it. If only he could will himself from feeling those caresses as well…_

"_Zane…no._ _This isn't right…"_

_With this quavering statement, Zane merely turned Syrus' lips to meet Zane's own. _

"_But it feels so right, little brother."_

_Syrus_ _was resisting with every fiber of his being yet not where it counted His limbs remained slack as he was pressed deeper and deeper into the mattress. It was as if he was frozen inside his own body. On the surface, it seemed like submission. Inside, it was anything but._

"_Stop!"_

"_Shhh!"_ _This time, his older brother's hand clamped over his mouth. "It'll feel good, Syrus. Besides, your first experience should be with me."_

"_But, I'm not ready!"_

_SLAP._

_However, the sting on his cheek was nothing compared to what followed as his very insides seared with fire…_

Syrus woke up to boundless shame and hurt beyond belief. He had dreamed about the night that Zane took what he had claimed at the time was rightfully his. It had been such a shock—a jolt out of the blue. Yet, at the same time, it had been a well-executed plan as well.

Under the pretense of showing Syrus a new video game, it hadn't taken long for the controller to be tossed aside on the carpeting and for the ordeal to begin. Afterwards, Syrus kept as far away from Zane's bedroom as possible. However, that didn't stop him from going to Syrus' own…

_Then, why hadn't I told my parents?_

Oh, right. The _shame_. Tattling on his beloved brother would have been a sin in itself. Zane had always been the one who brought pride to the family. Syrus had been…just there. A nice boy, but of no real importance.

Now, as the sun was just creeping up the wall, the very fact that it was morning and time to start another day mocked him.

Dragging himself up from the bed, Syrus tiptoed past the still sleeping Jaden as he made his way towards the bathroom. As he walked, he considered skipping school for the day.

_Then, Crowler will have it in for me too. I'm tired of attracting unwanted attention. _

Already resigning himself to it, Syrus picked up his toothbrush and slathered it with toothpaste. It was time to get ready. In the mirror, he studied his haunted reflection.

_I look like hell._

Forcing himself to buckle down and "get over it;" Syrus finished brushing his teeth and hurried to get dressed. Naturally, he stood in the bedroom in full classroom attire before Jaden even opened his eyes. Like every morning.

_Well, at least one thing in life is the same. _

"Jay?"

No response as the snores grew louder

"Jay!"

The brown-haired teen opened his eyes. "Huh? School already?"

Syrus sighed. Usually Jaden's antics cheered him. Now, it seemed all the more depressing that the only thing Jaden had to worry about was the alarm clock and all Syrus had to worry about was his hormone-enraged older brother.

The cloud of depression didn't lift all throughout the day which was in itself was unusual. Normally, the memory of the preceding night would be vanquished by textbooks, babbling teachers, and a medley of student activities. The bright fluorescent lights would shine down on the desks, and Syrus would faithfully hang onto every word that exuded from either the teacher's mouth or through the means of his hand on the chalkboard. Normal stuff.

Now, Syrus' mind was blank as he wallowed in the contours of his dark mind that even the lectures couldn't reach. There was also a certain recurring pain that occurred every time he shifted in his seat…

Then, without warning, his thoughts turned positively black.

_How could my own brother do this to me? How could God allow this to happen to me? No one else around me has to deal with it. Just me. The shrimpiest kid in school. Aren't I blackballed enough?_

As if to add insult to injury, the teacher's voice grew louder.

_I can't stand sitting in this chair one second longer._

_I can't take it!_

"Mr. Truesdale?"

Syrus heard his surname, but he just kept walking through the rows of desks. He didn't feel much like learning.

"Mr. Truesdale, return to your seat this instant!"

Syrus left the whispering students--his friends amongst them--and the reddening teacher both behind as he allowed the door to fall closed behind him. He shouldn't have come to class at any rate.

_What's _wrong _with me?_

For no reason at all, Syrus began to run through the hallways that composed Duel Academy as if trying to escape an invisible enemy. However, he could never run far away enough from what ailed him. In fact, he kept running. Even when he had fled the school itself and was now sprinting through the grass. Suddenly aware that his side hurt beyond all imagination; Syrus all but toppled over when he was forced to stop.

_I'm free. I'm alone._

A pause.

_Did I really just disobey a teacher? Did I really run out of class? Was that…really me?_

Still, the scenery around him was undeniably peaceful. Birds twittered in the trees above him. The rooftops gleamed in the late morning sunshine. White puffy clouds lazily dragged themselves across the blue backdrop sky.

_Heh...I guess I can stay here for a while._

As he watched a butterfly wandered into his line of sight. The fragile creature fluttered towards…_someone watching him…_

A wave of irrational terror swept through him. What would this person say?

Still, the figure didn't move an inch. Frowning, Syrus took a few cautious steps.

And, when he saw who it was, Syrus did something really irrational.

He called his name.

* * *

Author's Note: This will not remain a "poor Syrus" fic by any means. In fact, I've been debating adding a new pairing in the mix. 


	4. The Confession

"Aster?"

The silver-haired Pro Duelist was watching him with great intent from a nearby bench half-hidden by bushes.

"Syrus." He answered politely.

"What are you doing out here?" Syrus was genuinely curious.

Aster grinned wolfishly. "I could ask the same of you. Playing hooky, are we?"

"So are you!" Syrus countered defensively. At Aster's suddenly drooping expression, he quickly toned himself down. "Sorry," he squeaked. "I'll leave."

"No, stay. I could use the company. Besides, it looks like you need some too."

"More than you realize," Syrus remarked under his breath.

That got his attention. "Oh?" Aster raised an eyebrow. "Care to talk about it?"

Syrus jammed his hands in his pockets. "You wouldn't want to hear my problems."

_Yeah. You might need therapy even more so than me._

Aster shrugged. "All right, but they must be pretty bad to be wandering around out here."

"Is that why you're out here too? To…escape?" Syrus wasn't trying to be smart. He was genuinely curious about this Pro Duelist who kept to himself and fiercely decided he didn't need to belong anywhere on campus.

Out of the blue, Aster's eyes connected with Syrus' own. "I like to be alone sometimes."

_Right._

Syrus eyed the bench, wanting desperately to sit down next to someone who he didn't have an emotional connection with while mooching off the presence of a living, breathing body regardless. Odd how he neither wanted to be around people nor wished to be completely alone.

_Still, Aster expressed his desire to be alone. Solitary. In other words, screw you, Syrus. _

"Do you…have somewhere to be?" Aster asked. "You can stay here if you feel the need to talk."

Aster's rather serene face was utterly genuine. The brash Pro Duelist was serious. However, beneath that cool glassy surface that betrayed no emotions, Syrus was _sure_ there was a hidden crack or two that was just waiting to materialize. Aster _wanted_ to hear the dirt about the abused shell-shocked kid that was just on the verge of bitter angst-ridden tears at the drop of the proverbial hat. Why else would he want to listen to his problems?

_God, I'm starting to freak myself out more and more. He doesn't know. How could he? _

_But, the real issue is, _should_ I tell him anything at all? Once the secret's out; it's out. And, Syrus old buddy, you'll be the one to deal with the consequences._

Syrus' brain must have been coming unhinged in several places. Why else did he so promptly decide to take Aster's advice and chose to seat himself right beside him on that surprisingly smooth wooden bench?

"I…have a problem," Syrus confided weakly in a ghost of a voice that sounded thirty years too old for him—something that stemmed from too many years of pain. Too many years of silence.

_Gosh, by now, I could give my brother a run for his money in the 'I'm so tortured' department. _

"Let me guess," Aster began in an overconfident tone, "it's Jaden. You and Jaden got into a fight and you're now intentionally avoiding each other, right?"

"No!" Syrus cried almost out of frustration, surprising himself more than Aster. "No," he repeated more evenly. "No, that's not it at all. Not even Jaden actually knows."

Aster frowned as his eyes simultaneously narrowed in undisguised interest. "Then, what is it, Syrus?"

Syrus sighed so deeply that he could literally feel the air exhale right out of his toes. His eyes began to burn, blurring his vision, as he focused his gaze towards the grass. He couldn't seem to gaze into Aster's face at the moment.

"Syrus, what on earth is it?" Alarm was entering Aster's voice.

_I've gotten this far. Why not go the whole way? Why not?_

"It's my brother," Syrus choked out in a rush. "Zane..." His throat locked on _that name_.

"Zane?" Aster leaned down closer to where Syrus was debating on the advantages of hugging his knees for support. "Zane's done something? What is it? Did he threaten you?" The questions came rapid-fire.

"Something like that," Syrus admitted weakly while feeling about the size of a mud puddle.

In avid fascination, the world itself seemed to stand still. The birds damned near shut their beaks as the blades of grass tried their best to wave innocently in the breeze. This wasn't how Syrus envisioned telling his greatest secret—on a beautiful day sitting next to duelist royalty—breaking down emotionally in front of a guy he barely knew. Hell, he had never envisioned telling his secret at all.

"Syrus!" Aster shouted sharply. "What is Zane threatening you with? Did he hurt you? You know, you're not doing yourself a lot of good keeping it in."

_Why is Aster making such a huge deal? Oh, right. The hero complex._

But, right now, Syrus was in a devil-may-care mood. Who cared at this point? At this rate, he'd probably just end up committing suicide by his eighteenth birthday.

_Yeah, if it wasn't such a huge deal, why didn't you spit it out by now, Sy?_

"Zane abuses me, okay?" Syrus yelled right into Aster's stunned face. "Sexually, to be exact."

_There. I did it. Are you happy now?_

Aster was struck silent as his eyes probed searchingly for any trace of a lie while Syrus glared back with a blazing challenge in his eyes—daring Aster to contradict him. But, somewhere between his confession and false bravado, the world became awash with tears as his emotions literally exploded. For the first time in his life, Syrus completely broke down. _Hard_.

"You're not kidding," Aster commented quietly as Syrus was openly bawling into his open hands like one of those women in the movies that had been stood up by the object of their affections. (Before promptly hanging themselves in the attic.)

Syrus found himself incapable of speech as the sobs kept coming. Even in his precariously wounded state, he now understood that a dam had been broken. Right here and right now was the resulting flood. If or could the dam should ever be rebuilt would be a pressing matter that would dictate quite possibly the rest of Syrus' life.

At the moment, Aster stared on dumbfounded while possibly asking: _why the hell did I ask you tell me?_

* * *

Author's Note: I type one of these at the end of every chapter, don't I? I'd expect this fic to be over ten chapters. Yup, I realize the nature of this fic, and it wasn't a picnic to write this chapter. (The emotional quotient, not the technical.) Also, thanks to all reviewers! I have almost 1,000 hits on this fic. (Which I found mildly surprising…) 


End file.
